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Terms of Service

THIS WEBSITE IS MADE AS A JOKE 100%, and it was made by students just for fun!! DO NOT expect the product to arrive because WE ARE NOT SELLING ANYTHING IN HERE!! By the way, we are not affiliated with the people who made the products, and none of the jobs listed are real β€” we aren't actual lawyers, Professional Photoshop Editors aren't actually professional, etc. Please do not sue us tk.

We DO save the bare minimum we need to make accounts work (username, password hash, your in-game progress, paycheck balances, purchases). We don't sell it, we don't track you across other sites, and there's no real payment processing anywhere on this site β€” all currency here is fake (Yates$ / Walters$). Please don't slime us out.

The Actually-Real Part

anruithepotato this is for you u bum

A. "Yates Co." is not a real company

"Yates Co." (formerly stylized "Yates Inc." β€” same joke, dropped the "Inc." because California Business & Professions Code Β§ 17910.5 says you can't use "Inc." unless you're actually incorporated, and we're not) is a parody brand name used for comedic purposes. We are not a registered corporation, LLC, or any other legal business entity. No goods or services are actually offered for sale. No real currency changes hands anywhere on this site.

B. Privacy Policy (the short, honest version)

When you create an account or play the game, here's what we store in our database (Supabase):

  • A username / display name you pick yourself.
  • A hashed password (never stored in plain text).
  • An employee ID if you're hired.
  • Your in-game state: clicker progress, paycheck balances, shop purchases, budget contributions, game events, XP / tier.
  • Messages you send through the in-site Inbox.
  • Basic timestamps (created_at, updated_at) so things work.

Here's what we do NOT do:

  • We don't sell, rent, or share your data with anyone.
  • We don't track you across other websites.
  • We don't collect your real name, address, phone number, or payment information β€” there's nowhere on this site to enter those, because nothing here is for actual sale.
  • We don't run third-party ad trackers.

Data lives on Supabase's infrastructure. The only people with full access are Logan (CEO / creator) and the site's approved admins.

C. Want your account deleted?

If you're a client (you signed up via the "Make an account" link), there's a trash-can icon next to the logout button β€” click it, type DELETE, enter your password if you have one set, done. Your client row is wiped from the database immediately.

If the button is broken or you're an employee account, send a message through the in-site Inbox to Logan (ID 000001) with the words "delete my account" and we'll handle it manually within a few days, because this is a hobby project, not Amazon.

D. No payments, no real commerce

This site does not process credit cards, debit cards, crypto, PayPal, Venmo, or any other real-world payment method. If a form on this site ever asks for a real card number, assume the site got hacked and close the tab β€” none of our intended flows collect that information.

E. Kids, school, and common sense

This site was built by a student and his friends. If you find something broken, weird, or concerning, just shoot us a message through the Inbox and we'll look at it. We're not trying to deceive anyone β€” the giant red box above and every product's absurd price should make that obvious.

F. Age requirement (COPPA)

This site is not directed to children under 13. We do not knowingly collect personal information from anyone under 13. To create an account you have to tick a box confirming you're 13 or older β€” if you're under 13, don't sign up.

If you're a parent or guardian and you think your under-13 kid made an account anyway, message Logan (ID 000001) through the Inbox or use the "Delete my account" button and we'll nuke the account. No questions asked.

G. Stand-alone privacy page

A condensed privacy-only version of Section B lives at /privacy if you'd rather link directly to that.

MICROPRINT DISCLAIMER, HYPER-ABSURDIST ADDENDUM & OMNIFEE PROTOCOL

By interacting with any Product (including, but not limited to, Glass Tables, Watering Cans, Silverware, Rolling Pins, Custom Keys, Fancy Flippers, Toilet γ‚’γƒˆγƒžγƒ†γ‚£γƒƒγ‚―γ‚·γƒΌγƒˆγ‚¦γ‚©γƒΌγƒžγƒΌ, Touilotu Papu, and Very Safe Doors, hereinafter collectively the "Items"), you irrevocably assent to the following:

1. FEE CALCULATION & QUASI-QUANTUM ACCOUNTING

1.1 Each Item may be subject to one or more hyper-contextualized, conditional, or ontologically ambiguous charges (collectively, "Dynamic Microfees"), as partially disclosed in the small-hover text.

1.2 Dynamic Microfees may include, without limitation:

  • $50.13 per Glass Table (requires assembly; assembly includes hypothetical time dilation calculations)
  • $15.10 per Watering Can (per pound of Interfacing Entity's corporeal mass; subject to BMI flux)
  • $30.23 per Silverware set (per cumulative meal consumed; historical correction factors may apply)
  • $43.76 per Rolling Pin (per instance of baking activity; baking includes theoretical dough-based endeavors)
  • $27.97 per Custom Key (per key usage event; key usage defined as any mechanical, digital, or metaphysically implied insertion)
  • $41.99 per Fancy Flippers (per instance of water contact, inclusive of precipitation-induced exposure)
  • $399.99 per Toilet γ‚’γƒˆγƒžγƒ†γ‚£γƒƒγ‚―γ‚·γƒΌγƒˆγ‚¦γ‚©γƒΌγƒžγƒΌ (per lavatorial engagement; engagement may be literal or symbolic)
  • $12.89 per Touilotu Papu (per linear inch of paper used; includes retrospective application)
  • $89.99 per Very Safe Door (per use event; door use may include opening, closing, or marginal leaning)

2. MICROPRINT ACKNOWLEDGMENT

2.1 Hovering over price values constitutes tacit acknowledgment of all small-letter disclaimers. This acknowledgment may be fleeting, non-linear, or partially perceptible due to screen refresh rates, quantum superposition, or attention span variability.

2.2 Failure to observe hover-text does not exempt the Interfacing Entity from liability for Dynamic Microfees, which shall be deemed incurred retroactively from the moment of product acquisition.

3. ABSURDITY CLAUSE

3.1 By purchasing, viewing, or contemplating any Item, the Interfacing Entity agrees that all Dynamic Microfees, calculation methods, and ancillary pseudo-legals are intentionally nonsensical, performative, and designed solely for amusement, dramatic effect, or mild existential discomfort.

4. TELEMETRY & META-ANALYTICS

4.1 All hover events, clicks, and potential cognitive dissonances may be logged in ephemeral, cryptographically obfuscated registers to enhance satirical verisimilitude.

4.2 Data harvested may be used to adjust microfee multipliers, predict future absurd purchases, or randomly assign ironic nicknames to Interfacing Entities.

5. ENFORCEMENT & COSMIC RECOURSE

5.1 In the unlikely event of a dispute, the Platform reserves the right to adjudicate claims via interpretive dance, ceremonial thumb wrestling, or random selection of imaginary arbiters.

5.2 All fees are non-refundable, partially retroactive, and subject to whimsical adjustment based on lunar cycles, quantum flux, and interpretive reading of hover-text.

6. FINAL ACKNOWLEDGMENT

6.1 By interacting with this Platform, the Interfacing Entity irrevocably agrees to the Microprint, Dynamic Microfees, Absurdity Clause, and all other hyper-technical stipulations herein, understanding fully that literal comprehension is optional, confusion is encouraged, and amusement is mandatory.

Last updated: April 21, 2026